Parenting Faithful Children

I’m no expert on parenting—I’m right in the middle of my parenting years.  I’ve made and continue to make lots of mistakes, so I’m not claiming to know much about the topic.  When I was in youth ministry, however, I began noticing something.  A lot of our kids were leaving after high school and not coming back.  Even if they stayed in town, they didn’t come back to our church; it was even more the case for those who went away to college or other places.  I was always bothered by this…why is it so common?  Nationwide, about 70% of Christian teens will graduate high school and not return to church—that’s a national number spread across churches of all denominations and fellowships.  That’s a lot of kids.  Why is this and is there anything we can do about it?

Over the next several weeks, we’ll dive into a series I’ve entitled, “The 70%: Parenting Faithful Children.”  My hope is that we’ll talk about this crisis, what has contributed to it, and what things we can do to slow it down.  Sadly, even under ideal conditions, not all of our children will live faithful Christian lives in their adult years.  That’s just the reality.  There are, however, things that can be done to increase the likelihood that your son or daughter will continue to walk with God after they leave your home.  I hope you’ll join us for the duration of the series and learn as we look at the Bible for our answers to this problem.

Scott McFarland

Spring is…Springing

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of the Hazardous Weather Outlooks, Tornado Warnings and Watches, and Floods. It’s almost like we’re paying for the mild winter with a crazy spring. I don’t mean to complain, but weather that comes with a side of destruction is on a different level than it just being a little too hot or too cold for our liking.

It’s not unusual when weather patterns start going crazy to think about the end of the world. Will this be how the world is at the end? Will there be lots of tornados, floods, storms? I don’t know.  What I do know is that God gave us a promise to continue sustaining the world throughout its life, until the end. At the end of The Flood, when God gives Noah His covenant never to destroy the earth again, He adds a special promise to it: “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not
cease.” (Gen. 8:22)

Whatever Spring brings, you can be sure that God will keep his promise to sustain the world throughout seasons, harvests, and days. Ultimately, in promising this, God gives us a picture of His promise toward us: He will sustain us throughout our days as well—even when it seems like life is out of control, even when tragedies happen, even when things are hard. God continues to work behind the scenes to sustain His people. God cares for His creation—the earth, the plants/animals, and you.

Scott McFarland

Men and Women Reflecting His Image

As we wrap our Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood series, I find myself reflecting. The church today is staring down a cultural moment that is unparalleled in modern history. Unfolding before us is a great deconstruction of ideas and institutions that have always been accepted by the majority of society, secular or Christian. As we see things like marriage, gender, sexuality, education, childhood development, and other parts of the fabric of society being questioned and dismantled, it is tempting to run or get angry. What I would encourage us to do is to lean into the teachings of Scripture, find our footing in what God’s word says on these topics, and allow the Truth to encourage us and embolden us to live differently than the world around.

I have said this before, and I truly believe it: the world will get tired of this, eventually. It may not be in your lifetime or mine, but eventually people will come to the end of these debates and will be looking for something that actually works. Once the shiny has worn off, people want to know what they can bank on and build lives on. It’s at that moment that Christians have an opportunity to step in with the Truth. However, it won’t be just because we have the Truth—we will only be able to speak the Truth if we are living the truth. So, in the meantime, as the world is wandering and wrestling, live the Truth. Reflect the image of God proudly in our genders and in our distinctiveness.

Resist the urge to make men and women the same or interchangeable. Men’s strength and courage, women’s nurture and wisdom are gifts that reflect the image of God in ways the other gender cannot.

The world desperately needs to see God.

Let them see Him in us.

Scott McFarland

What is a Woman?

It sounds so crazy to even ask that question, “What is a woman?”  Half a century ago, no one would have questioned what defines a woman or makes her who she is.  But, here we are today, trying to redefine gender and sexuality, attempting to reimagine cultural norms so we can create a new world where definitions of masculinity and femininity are fluid and
“non-conforming.”

My point is not to rant about the ills of society, but I do mention that to bring up a point I have been thinking of recently.  Since when did we let the world dictate what we believe as truth?  The church must be careful as the world progresses more and more into relativism and redefinition not to be swept away by the currents of culture.  John has some helpful thoughts on how to discern false teaching within the church that I believe also applies in principle outside the church:

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. (I John 4:1-3)

Don’t believe everything you hear.  Test it.  Examine it to see if it is from God.  Examine the source.  In this day and age, we can never be sure.  In the end, Scripture and God’s revelation of reality is our only hope to holding on to truth.  Everything else is suspect.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Scott McFarland

A God of Surprises

As we celebrate Easter this weekend, there are a lot of Easter traditions that accompany the holiday. At some point today or this past week, you may have given a child an Easter basket, participated in an Easter egg hunt,
colored Easter eggs, or made candy. The combination of different traditions, for Christians, symbolize much more than a bunny or an egg. For us, it is a way to teach our children and remind ourselves of the God
who won victory over sin and death at the tomb after evil and Satan seemed to have won the day at the cross.

Many of the traditions we share over Easter involve “finding” something—an Easter egg hunt where eggs are discovered or cracking open a plastic egg to discover the kind of candy or treat inside. This is such a great reminder to us of the God of the unexpected, the God of surprises. At the tomb that Easter morning, no one expected Jesus to be raised. The women carrying spices did not. Even Jesus’ own disciples did not believe
after being given the message by the women who had gone to the tomb. They had to run to the tomb to see it themselves to believe, which is especially ironic considering the disciples were told multiple times over
Jesus’ ministry that he would be resurrected. No one saw it coming.

As we celebrate Easter this year, remember that God has always been and always will be full of surprises. He rarely acts in ways we expect, but always acts in the best way. He often doesn’t show up when we feel He should, but He’s always right on time. He doesn’t follow the script we give Him; He writes His own. That’s what makes Him God. But, rest assured, He will always come through, even when you don’t think anything is possible. The empty tomb is proof of a God who makes good on His promises, knows the right timing, and is full of surprises.

Scott McFarland

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

If you grew up in the 80s, the opening lines from Bonnie Tyler’s song “Holding Out for a Hero,” written for the movie Footloose, can be heard clear as a bell:

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the streetwise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

The question, “Where have all the good men gone?” is a common one asked among females of all ages.  Women of all ages struggle to find men who are serious about life, serious about their values, and have a clear direction and focus.  What is going on?  It would take more than a bulletin article to give a full answer to the above question, but I think what is at play is a society in which men are given a pass on just about everything.  Psychologists have recently talked about “delayed adolescence”—young men who have been allowed to dodge maturity and responsibility through high school, into college, and beyond.  Since others around them expect so little, young men are allowed to grow into adults who have little direction, are allowed to do what they want when they want, and are trapped in a pattern of boyish behavior that keeps them from developing the character and maturity that makes good husbands and fathers.  Even getting married and becoming fathers does not produce the maturity their spouse or parents hope to see—they continue to act as boys while married with children.  “Boys will be boys” is more than just a phrase—it has become a way of passing off immature behavior into adulthood.

Perhaps my assessment of manhood in our culture is too harsh, but I don’t think so.  I’ve seen enough, talked to enough women, and experienced enough of it myself to think the above paragraph is overstating the point.  80 years ago, men graduated high school in June and were fighting Nazis in Europe by October.  They came home at 22 years old, got jobs, got married, bought houses, and began families.  By their mid-twenties they were several years into a career and a family.  Today, only about 2/3 of 25-year-old males are even working full time!  What’s the cure?  There are no easy answers for this kind of societal issue, but I believe the Bible has a lot of help to offer in this area of manhood and becoming a man.  Issues like building moral character, developing discipline, understanding responsibility, and other values and qualities of becoming a man are found in the pages of Scripture.  Books like Proverbs, letters like Ephesians and James are just some starting points for these conversations.  Take heart!  I think the world will eventually have enough of the lack of manhood in our society.  When it does, we have the opportunity as believers to develop ourselves and our young men into the kind of people God would have us to be.  It starts with us.

                                                                                                                              Scott McFarland

Biblical Manhood, Biblical Womanhood

Twenty years ago, most of us probably did not stop to think much about what it meant to be a man or a woman.  The majority cultural values pretty well lined up with what the Bible taught on the subject, and only people on the fringes of society were questioning what it meant to be a man or what it meant to be a woman.  Fast forward to 2024 and here we are, questioning what it means to be male, what it means to be female, if you can be both, or if you have to be either one at all.  For those who lived the majority of their lives before this period of gender questioning, you probably think everyone has gone crazy!  And you’d be right.

Why is this?  Why are we questioning basic, foundational building blocks such as gender?  Why are we trying to redefine what it means to be a man or what it means to be a woman?  I believe it’s because we have lost sight of God’s created identity and become enamored with other identities and expressions of self.

Over the next few weeks, I’d like us to look at what the Bible says it means to be a man or a woman.  While the Bible was written in a different culture and time, the lessons it teaches about being a man or a woman are timeless.  Its lessons about the created intent for man and for woman are more relevant now than ever.  I don’t really have a creative title for this series, but please bring a friend and certainly bring yourself.  Let’s look at Scripture together and stop listening to the world and its definitions of gender and identity.  Let’s learn about Biblical Manhood, Biblical Womanhood together!

Wrestling with Self Forgiveness

Getting involved with other people helps us to forgive ourselves. God made

the church for many good reasons. One of them was so that we could encourage

one another. Of course, if we choose not to be involved with the church, we will receive little encouragement, and negative feelings of self-unforgiveness will creep back into our lives. Instead, we must practice Hebrews 3:13: “but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” We need daily encouragement. Being actively involved with the local body of Christ will give us that.

     God also foresaw that Christians would need a regular time to meet with other Christians. So, he had Jesus establish the Lord’s Supper to be observed every first day of the week. Acts 20:7 tells us that the church met on this day for this very purpose. In Hebrews 10:24-25, the Holy Spirit said, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” Christians need to be involved in the lives of other Christians. This is a great way to overcome self-unforgiveness.

      Finally, James 1:27 says, “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the

Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself un

spotted from the world.” You will never have a “bad day” visiting an orphan or a widow. They remind us of God’s grace and mercy. They create gratitude in our hearts. They keep us busy doing what God wants us to do instead of going back to the guilt of the world.

Kevin Cauley

New Boston Church of Christ

New Boston, TX

Awaiting the King’s Return

This weekend while at drill, we have to do our yearly physicals.  This is a day long event that involves being in Columbus at the exam facility at 6am and going all day to hit every doctor at every station: the dentist, the eye doctor, the lab techs for bloodwork, the medics for shots, the general physician, the chaplain, etc.  It’s a long day of standing in line and waiting with hundreds of other soldiers.

Am I complaining?  Maybe, a little.  I hate lines and I hate waiting.  But I was also thinking of the theme for today’s worship: “Awaiting the King’s Return.”  If you’re like most Christians, waiting for Jesus to come back is a bit like standing in a long line—it feels like it will never happen!  In the meantime, we get distracted and daydream to fill the time, or maybe we leave the line altogether.  If you’ve been a Christian most of your life, you’ve been doing this all your life and sometimes it feels like you’ll never see it.  But, we know that God does not measure time the way we do; II Peter 3:8 says that one day is like a thousand years to God.  So, while it feels like forever to us, it doesn’t to God.  We also know that God promises to return at some point!  He’s promised us so and told us to be ready.  In Matthew 25, Jesus tells two stories about being ready—the Parable of the Ten Virgins and the Parable of the Talents.  In the Parable of the Ten Virgins, most of the virgins lost a sense of urgency about the arrival of the bridegroom and left to go get more oil for their candles.  They weren’t prepared and because of it they missed the return of the bridegroom and the wedding feast.

Stories like the Parable of the Ten Virgins are cautionary tales about the dangers of not being ready.  It can happen at any moment—are you ready?  Are you losing focus or getting tired?  Are you prepared to go at a moment’s notice?  Keep watching!  One day, Jesus will return and our hopes will be seen.  In the meantime, don’t lose focus.  Keep waiting!

                                                                                                Scott McFarland

Single On Purpose

We’ve spent the last few weeks focusing on marriage, but I’d like to step back and think about our singles again this morning.  Because of the church’s focus on marriage, one of the main questions that arises for unmarried believers is, so what am I here for?  This is especially true if a person has spent significant time as a single and is beginning to wonder if singleness is not just a season but a calling for their life.  What’s the purpose of being single and how can singleness be used for something meaningful?

As we’ve discussed previously, the church has not done the best job in helping singles find purpose and meaning in being single.  Often, the advice to singles is marriage oriented—how to look for a mate, anticipating the future marriage, or being content in the moment while waiting.  While these attitudes are helpful for some, for those who may spend a significant amount of their life—or all of it—single, this does nothing for them.

This morning, we’ll look at some ideas from the life of Paul about how he found his purpose and calling while being single.  We’ll apply those principles to our own lives and seek to uncover a “singular purpose”—one that goes beyond marriage and looks at singleness not only as a gift, but as an intentional calling used for something great.

                                                                                   Scott McFarland