Leaving and Cleaving

Scott McFarland
02/04/24 - Sun AM Worship

Holy Marriage

The last couple times we have spoken of marriage in our series, we’ve talked about the importance of marriage as a way of producing holiness and the need for commitment (covenant) in marriage.  Today, I want to go back to our passage from Ephesians 5 and discuss one of the references Paul makes to something that should happen in a healthy marriage: leaving and cleaving.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Eph. 5:31)

When we think about “leaving and cleaving” in a marriage, we usually think about two people leaving their parents and homes where they grew up, finding a house or apartment to rent or buy, and starting their life together.  We think about all the things that need to come together—cars, bank accounts, schedules, furniture, etc.—the physical things that are a part of combining two lives.

What we don’t often think about are the nonphysical items that make up a marriage—things that, I would argue, are what makes a marriage really work.  These are the attitudes, the ways of living, the accommodations made for someone else.  This is what the Bible speaks of when it talks about leaving and cleaving.  The ironic thing is there are some people who have been married decades and have never done this.  Oh, they may have some shared physical possessions, but their attitudes, hearts, and ways of living are still very much separate. 

This morning, we’ll talk about what it means to “leave and cleave” and how this is such a crucial step to having a healthy marriage.  If you’re married, I hope and pray you will be blessed and challenged by our discussion in God’s word!

Scott McFarland